🏷 Not Standard Issue

A love letter to the military spouse who didn’t get the manual — or the backup squad.

So here’s the thing.

I’m a military spouse.
But I don’t live on base.
I don’t have kids.
I don’t bake for the FRG.
And I live 12 hours from my closest family, so no, I can’t “just get help from my mom.”

Oh, and my husband’s in the National Guard — full-time, not weekends-only, thank you very much — which means I get all the unpredictability with none of the automatic support structures.

So yeah, I’m not exactly what you’d call “standard issue.”

🤷‍♀️ I Don’t Fit the Milspouse Mold

I work a full-time job (with meetings, deadlines, and bosses who have no idea what “he’s away on orders” even means).
I’ve navigated deployment solo, without a built-in village.
I’ve moved houses with just my cats and a bottle of dry shampoo.
And yes — I’ve cried in a Walmart parking lot. Multiple times. Don’t worry about it.

I’m not planning playdates.
I’m planning PCS logistics, grocery runs, and trying to figure out why my cat keeps throwing up on the one rug I like.

🧱 There's No Built-In Support Here

When you live far from family and you’re not near a base, you don’t have an on-call tribe or a neighborhood of fellow spouses who “just get it.”

You have:

• Text messages that say “Let me know if you need anything” (followed by nothing).

• A Pinterest board called “DIY sanity.”

• And a weirdly close relationship with your UPS driver, who’s probably lowkey worried about you.

There’s no village. So you build one. Out of memes, snacks, group chats, and sheer stubbornness.

🍼 The Kid Question (Again)

Let’s get this out of the way:
We don’t have kids.
We’re not planning to.
And no, that doesn’t mean I’m less of a spouse, less busy, or less tired.

I still hold down the fort.
I still do the home projects, the pet parenting, the meal planning, the emotional gymnastics, and the midnight “where even is he right now” panic spirals.

I just do it with less childcare… and slightly more cat hair.

🛠 I Am My Own Backup Plan

No one’s showing up with a casserole.
No one’s babysitting my pets when the water heater breaks.
And I’m definitely not part of a tightly-knit squad of spouses who all hang out in matching “deployment strong” hoodies.

It’s just me.
Holding it down.
Winging it.
Googling “how to fix a leaking toilet” at 11 PM.
And reminding myself — loudly, often, and occasionally through gritted teeth — that I’m doing pretty damn well.

✨ Not Standard Issue — But Still Damn Solid

I may not fit the standard-issue mold, but I’m here.

Showing up.
Making it work.
Balancing life on the edge of chaos with caffeine, sarcasm, and a surprisingly detailed PCS binder.

So if you’re also the spouse without the traditional setup — the one flying solo, figuring it out, or just trying to keep the house from falling apart while your partner’s away — welcome.

You’re not alone.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just not standard issue.

And honestly?
That might be your superpower.